Just when I think I’ve heard and seen everything,  along comes a story in this weekend’s news that a woman in Tennessee was unhappy with the child she adopted from Russia so she sent him back unaccompanied on a plane to Moscow with nothing but a note saying the child was dangerous and psychologically impaired and she couldn’t deal with him.

Now there isn’t a parent alive who hasn’t at some point in their children’s lives asked themselves what on earth they’ve gotten into, and isn’t there some kind of escape clause. Some are downright serious about it, which is why many states allow parents to safely abandon newborns and Nebraska allows parents to legally abandon children well into their teen years. Unfortunately, there are even those who abuse or kill their children, though luckily that’s a small minority.

However, most of us within the realm of normal behavior know darn well that we made a lifelong commitment and that you take the bad with the good. In most cases, aberrant behavior will pass, but it’s not always that easy. Some children are born with significant physical or mental disabilities that preclude them from ever living a full, normal life. Other children develop serious problems or illnesses as they grow up, and adolescence can be particularly stressful or difficult for kids with some conditions. In rare cases, normal lives aren’t possible and other drastic measures have to be taken. But it’s all part of the package. There’s no money-back guarantee, and no, you can’t return the kid.This isn’t a puppy you can take back to the pound and exchange.

The actions of this mother have caused an international incident, with the Russian government threatening to cut off adoptions by American families. That seems a bit extreme, but in this case, I can certainly understand why they’re upset.

Supposedly, the child threatened to burn down the adoptive family’s house with the family in it. Not a great situation, but this child is only 8 years old. The adoptive parent went through a long process which should have exposed the fact that this particular boy had issues and would need professional help. If the mom wasn’t able to handle the child on her own, there had to have been places to go for help or alternative ways to care for this child.

I’ve met incredible people who act as both foster parents and adoptive parents to all kinds of kids. Some of them have just been removed from inappropriate home situation,  but others also have serious problems that impact their ability to lead normal lives. Some even are diagnosed with terminal diseases, like HIV or cancer. But still these folks are willing to take them in. Hopefully, on one side of the world or another, someone like that will be found for this child.

And the rest of us have to play the hand we’re dealt as best as we can. Even if the cards aren’t what we would have asked for, that’s what happens when you join the game.